I Need A Time Machine

1: Kai tries hard to be the maknae, but then fails at it in embarrassment.
2: Sehun is a derp-in-training.
3: Kai is a derp-in-training.
4: Kris is an undercover derp.
5: Tao is actually secretly in love with Chanel.
6: Kai is actually Taemin & Changmin's secret lovechild
7: Bacon-sshi shoots anonymous people with sunguns.
8: Kris' Cantonese & English makes your ovaries explode.
9: Sehun's lisp is a result of his intense aegyo.
10: Luhan is an Olympic god. This explains why he doesn't age, and why he whores around all the time.
11: D.O. is EXO's mother. The father is unknown.
12: Kris doesn't know what he's doing.
13: Lay's horn is his hair.
14: EXO's fandom is called "The Breakfast Club"
15: Not only is Kris a fanboard whore, he's also a Q&A whore.
16: Chen is in love with a gull, but he can't explain what he feels ;~;
17: Bacon wears eyeliner because eyeliner is his grease, and Bacon is greasy.
18: Luhan's special skill is sinking ships.
19: Kris secretly performs aegyo for Tao when no one else is around.
20: Chanyeol gets high off of the smell of Bacon.